woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
