He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He shit in the fireplace
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
