So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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