Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
