i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
How external is "for external use only"?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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