I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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