a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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