i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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