So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
