watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
