apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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