Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
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