How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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