i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
