"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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