New invention idea: vibrating tampons
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
she told me i tasted like america
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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