Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
