dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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