I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
