Four minutes until I can fart!
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
