Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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