we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
