This is not my ceiling
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
