I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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