Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize