I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Every concussion has its silver lining
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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