I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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