For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
