she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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