apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
