My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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