Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Randomize
