Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
