You're a womanizer and a bitch.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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