so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
