so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
