i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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