Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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