I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
