i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
