just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
