well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
