This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
