DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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