Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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