A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
