operation have a gay friend backfired
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
