He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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