I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
