What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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