and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
It's blow job season.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
