1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
