I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
