thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
