Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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