Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
