I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
