I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
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