i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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