my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
