I faked an abortion last night.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
