I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
