Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
How does one acquire holy water?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
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