Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
